Hi-

Thanks for stopping by! I know, I know…there’s a million blogs out there. Especially mommy blogs.  When I first set this blog up a few years ago, my intention was to just post about my piano music and occasionally other things going on in our life. But I stopped writing in this blog, and writing music for a while because of a crazy, unforeseen circumstance. The crazy thing that happened is that one of my children got diagnosed with a form of childhood cancer last year. Our world pretty much stopped. But now that it has been a little while and things are ok, I’m slowly getting back to writing music and in this blog again.

Music has helped me stay sane in a very sad and trying time in my life. I hope to have more songs posted soon–but everything available to be listened to now is on the right side of the screen.

Thank you for taking the time to stop by.

 

Photo credit- Pixomar at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Why Emergency Room Doctors Can Not Treat Cancer–A Post To Florida Congressman Ron DeSantis

As we all know the political climate in this country is way different than it has been in a long time. Without getting too much into it, I think most people would probably agree that overall people are just paying more attention. We follow news stories and try to stay up to date. We know the people who are part of the White House Staff and of our state government. I admit I never really paid much attention to politics or to what politicians said after the election was over, until now.

Every day, my blood boils when I think about what Republican Florida Congressman Ron DeSantis said last week (I don’t even live in Florida). He suggested that losing insurance is ok, even if you have cancer because you can “just go to the emergency room to get care.”  It was in the news only for a day or two and didn’t get too much attention. But I heard it and have been pretty angry about it since.

This post is to him (or anyone else who agrees with him) to explain why going to the ER is simply not an option for cancer treatment.

Although I’m not a doctor or nurse, I unfortunately know a lot about cancer. Well pediatric cancer. See my daughter was diagnosed  a while back. The only thing worse than getting cancer while your children are still young, is if one of your children gets cancer, while they are still young.

 

She was diagnosed about 7 months ago and since then our lives consists of doctors appointments and lengthy inpatient hospital stays (please don’t ask me about what her diagnosis or prognosis is. She has what doctors consider a “bad” kind of cancer, but since I believe that all cancers are bad, I don’t like to get into that part of it).

The good thing is, cancer treatments have improved in recent years (even slighlty for pediatric cancer, but not that much since only 4% of government spending for cancer goes to children’s cancer research). But what doctors do know, is that even if they can cure your child’s cancer, the treatments themselves can have a devastating effect to your child’s organs. Many people (not just kids) who die of cancer, don’t actually die from cancer. They don’t have a cancer cell in their body.  They die from malnutrition. Their organs can not digest food anymore. Their organs are either too damaged from the treatment, or sometimes they throw up so much that they starve. As you can guess this is problematic. This is something everyone wants to prevent if possible.

There is a way to prevent this. It is called TPN or total parenteral nutrition. This is nutrition that goes directly into a vein. It completely bypasses the normal route of the digestive system. My daughter uses tpn. I set it up for her every night and it runs for 12 hours. She has not be able to tolerate food for months and this is her only option to get nutrition for now.

It has saved her life.

 

 

TPN supplies

This is not the best pic but this is what the supplies look like. On the left is the tpn bag itself and it has all the nutrients in it that she needs. Carbohydrates, proteins, fats etc. Then there’s vitamins that I inject into the bag. The bag hooks up to a pump, which hooks into her port.

 

 

This shows a port. Ports are used for tpn, to give medications, and for chemo.

 

A port is a small device in her chest that works like an iv.

 

 

Tpn pump

 

 

 

This is the tpn pump. The tpn bag hooks into this pump, and controls how fast the nutrition goes through her veins. It takes 12 hours a day.

 

 

 

 

tpn backpack

 

 

This is the tpn backpack. This is what the pump, bag and all additional supplies go into, so everything is portable. It allows her to not spend 12 hours a day hooked up to an iv pole (Yes, my daughter has an iv pole in her room. Once you let that thought sink in a minute, it’s very easy to realize that cancer is a serious illness that can not be treated in an emergency room).

 

 

 

This is our special refrigerator for tpn,vitamins and medications.

I have a special refrigerator for her tpn, and everything is delivered to our house on a weekly basis. The reason we only have 7 bags of tpn at a time is because each bag is made specifically for her. Her needs may change week by week. One week she may need more lipids, the next week maybe she needs more vitamins, etc. The doctors decide how much of each nutrient go into the tpn bag based on her weekly blood tests, which are done at her weekly oncology appointment–NOT THE EMERGENCY ROOM. If I walked into the emergency room with her and said, “Hi Dr. We’re here so you can put together her weekly tpn supplies real quick”–the dr. would look at me like I was a weirdo. You know why? Because emergency room doctors do not put together tpn bags for patients. This is something that takes time, and is discussed at routine appointments.

Generally people who go to the emergency room require emergency care. Believe it or not, cancer is a chronic condition. This means it will not go away by itself and even treatment takes a long time. But cancer itself is not considered an emergency–hence the emergency room is not necessary.

The emergency room is used for things like broken bones, if you were in an accident, or have a heart attack–things that need immediate treatment. In other words, things that are not chronic conditions. My sons have been to the emergency room for broken fingers and toes from rough- housing. My other family members have been to the emergency room for pain that lead to them being admitted for surgery. However, I have never been to the emergency room so my daughter can get cancer treatment. Emergency room doctors don’t treat cancer.

Obamacare was meant to discourage people without insurance to go to the emergency room by providing insurance they could afford, so they would call their primary care doctor for issues. But hey, since the current administration is into moving backwards, why not encourage everyone to go to the emergency room. Cancer is no big deal right?

I know I said I wasn’t going to get too political but I just can’t let his remark go. While I’m glad that on one hand that, apparently cancer has not affected his life, it has unfortunately affected many others. I think it’s absolutely horrifying that we have some people in government, who are so uneducated and ignorant to the facts of serious health issues that some of us face every single day.

These government people from #45 all the way down to local government can not make informed decisions about things they know nothing about. They can not throw around comments suggesting that people can just go to the emergency room to get treatment for cancer. All of their sheeple will believe any word they say, and the downward spiral that this country is headed into because of that is staggering.

My hope with this post was just to shed a little light on what life is like for families who have a child with cancer. Our lives revolve around our child’s care, but people in this situation never just run to the emergency room. While I hope in my heart of hearts that there will be a cure for all cancers someday, I have theories on why the government will never let that be. But maybe I’ll save that for my next post.

Thanks for reading-

 

 

Photo Credits-flag, band aid, kid, life, staircase

 

 

 

 

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Why I Don’t Talk About Childhood Cancer

I know–I know what you’re thinking. This post is about why I don’t talk about childhood cancer…but I have to talk about it to tell you that. Kind of weird, right?  But I truly don’t talk about it that often, but I’ve been thinking that maybe I should explain why.

If you know me or are my facebook friend–you probably know that my daughter was diagnosed with an aggressive form of childhood cancer in 2016. I’m not going to go into detail about it, but our lives were ruined. There’s no other way to say it or sugar coat it. Yes there are still good days, but having a child this ill f*cking sucks.

I know many moms/dads of sick children set up a facebook page for their child and they find comfort in that. They keep people up to date with their childs progress and maybe it makes them just feel better about the whole situation knowing that there are people thinking about them. I don’t know why they do it, so I won’t speak for them. I can only speak for myself when I say I that I don’t have a facebook page for my daughter because I don’t want cancer to become her identity.

When I look at her, I don’t see a kid that is sick. Yes, I know she is and I’m not in denial, but to me she is the same old kid she was before. She is still spunky and sassy and will throw out a sarcastic remark whenever she can. She’s smart, funny, loves animals and likes to boss around her brothers (especially her younger brother, who she calls her “henchman”). I can go on and on forever. I love her more than anything.

But I don’t want to give cancer anymore power. It already has taken over our lives by taking away big things as well as little things. I don’t like to think about the unfairness of it all because it is just too depressing–but it really has. Cancer is a thief of almost all things. So when I see other cancer moms post pictures of their kids that are in the hospital or otherwise at their worst–I just don’t get it. Why let cancer overtake your child’s identity like that? I will never post a hospital pic. (I don’t take hospital pics). I only post pictures of her when she is feeling good. When she is happy. When she is home. That is who my daughter is. That is her true identity. This whole cancer thing is not who she is. Hell, I don’t even tell people her diagnosis because I don’t want to give it anymore power. There is no such thing as a “good cancer” so I don’t bother with acknowledging her diagnosis publicly. I never want people to see her and think “oh that’s the cancer kid.” That is heartbreaking to me. She is so much more than that.

caroline-blog-pic

This is us about a month ago.

Thanks for reading. I hope this post doesn’t sound too angry or judgmental or anything. I just wanted to explain why I’m so quiet about most things.

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Taking A Break From Writing Music

Well, I never thought this would happen. I’m not going to go into it, or write about the reason why—but I am too sad to write songs anymore. There is no way for me to express how sad I am–so that is why I haven’t written anything in a while. I have tried many times–and it’s just not there. I’m hoping to someday write again, but I’m just not feeling up to it at all anymore.

Thanks again to those of you who have listened to my songs in the past.

Lindsay

 

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Recording New Songs Soon

schroader picIt’s really been a long time since I gave any kind of update. Like everyone else, I’ve just been real busy–but my music still is real important me. In the past few months I wrote 2 new songs that I’m in the process of recording now. It takes a while to record since I’m a perfectionist. But this time it’s taking extra long because I let my kids play on the piano, and they ended up breaking some of the recording stuff that I needed. It wasn’t on purpose–but still. They don’t really show any interest in my music when I’m practicing unless they are listening for mistakes 🙂  They don’t really have an ear for music, but if they can hear mistakes I guess that kind of counts 🙂

So, I’ll share these songs once they are finished. The songs aren’t named yet. Naming the song is the last thing I do. Even when I send the songs to the guy who masters my music–the songs are not named yet. I mean, I know what the songs are about to me, but that is not the same thing as a name. If you’ve read some previous posts, you know that I generally don’t share what my songs mean to me. My songs can be interpreted many different ways, and there is no “right” answer or “wrong” answer as to what it means. If I were to share what the songs mean to me, it would be the same thing like if I let people read my diary–not happening. It’s just a form of expression and how I feel at that given moment–and that’s basically it. I don’t consider myself a sad person–but I can not write unless I’m in a sad kind of mood. But once the song is started and I have the basis of it, I can continue writing it and I don’t have to be sad. I don’t even know if that makes sense, but that’s how it seems to me.

Anyway, thanks for reading this. I’m looking forward to sharing my new songs with you 🙂

Lindsay Della Vella

 

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Why I Don’t Share What My Songs Mean

Some people think my songs are about nature or things in the outside world. But they're not. My inspiration for writing music is just how I feel about things going on in my everyday life.

Some people think my songs are about nature or things in the outside world. But they’re not. My inspiration for writing music is just how I feel about things going on in my everyday life.

Sometimes people ask me what my songs are “really” about. I know it’s an innocent question, and I don’t get mad if people ask me–but it’s just kind of hard for me to explain to people what my songs mean. I’ve said it before, but my inspiration for writing music just comes from everyday life. It’s just my way of expressing what I’m thinking about.

When I first start writing a song though, I have to have something important on my mind. Usually it’s more of a sad thing, but whenever I say that, it seems to get misinterpreted. I don’t consider myself a sad person. I’m just a very sensitive person so things just get to me, maybe more than the average person. So, usually I’m thinking about something going on that’s kind of bothering me at the moment, and that’s where my ideas for songs come from. It doesn’t even mean that my songs will sound sad–I just have be in that kind of mood to be able to start writing a song. Once I have the basics of the song finished, I don’t have to be in that upset kind of mode to write. I hope that makes sense.

wish cover artThe whole reason why I’m saying any of this, is because someone who is very close to me, recently got upset because I wouldn’t tell him what my song “Wish” was really about. I still don’t tell people. It’s not like it’s top secret information or anything, but to me, my music is like my diary. I would never just hand over my diary for someone to read. That is why I don’t tell people what my songs are specifically about. But that’s a good thing though. Since there are no words to any of my songs, everything is open to interpretation. So even though I know what I wrote the song about, it doesn’t have to mean the same thing to everyone, and I just think that adds even more meaning to my songs.

So, in case you were wondering why I don’t share what my songs really mean, that is why. Hopefully that makes sense and you understand. Anyway, here is my latest song, “Wish” if you haven’t heard it yet.

I am working on another song already that I hope to have finished within the next two months. It takes a while to find the time to write (I have four kids, a husband, and I’m juggling two different coding jobs) but I always do. My music is important to me, and I’ll always continue to write songs no matter what.

What comes to mind when you hear my songs? What do my songs mean to you?

Thanks for reading-

Lindsay Della Vella

 

Photo credit-Dominic Harness at www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

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New Song–“Wish” by Lindsay Della Vella

I just wanted to share my new piano song with you–it’s called “Wish.”Here it is–

wish cover art

“Wish” By Lindsay Della Vella © 2015

 

Thanks again to those of you who continue to listen to my music. It really means a lot to me! I hope you like my new song. I’ll be writing more about it and what it means to me, and how I wrote it–but first I wanted you to hear it. Please feel free to share it with anyone who you think will like it. If you want to hear more of my songs, please see the music player to the right.

-Lindsay Della Vella

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Writing a new song

GRADUATIONThe last week has been really busy. The kids are finishing up the school year and I just can’t believe how big they’re getting. I know it’s kind of cliche but it really is crazy how fast time flies by. At my fourth graders little graduation ceremony one of the songs they played  was “Forever Young.” Then I remembered that my class sang the same song during our 6th grade graduation a million years ago! It’s amazing to see your children grow up because I don’t feel like I’m getting older, but obviously that’s not true. I still feel like I’m 29.

piano juneI also started writing a new song this week. Well I should say I started it a while ago but it kind of never got anywhere. Sometimes that happens to me–I start writing something, don’t practice or put any effort into it, then get busy with everyday life and my song never gets written. But I started this one again. I think all my songs have similarities but this new one sounds the most like my song “Journey.” Many people tell me that’s their favorite so I thought I’d write another one that’s similar to it. (To hear it, see the music player on the right of the screen).

You might remember that I wrote another song that I never could seem to get motivated to record…I decided today that I’m just not going to record it. I’m just not feeling it anymore. I know it must sound strange. Like how could I put so much effort into a song and not record it? I don’t know why that happens sometimes. It doesn’t happen that often but occasionally it does. Maybe someday I’ll get back to it, but for now I’m finished with it.

new jobMore good news this week–I don’t ever put work stuff on here but I did want to tell you guys that I accepted a new job 🙂 It’s still in the medical coding field, but I’ll be doing more auditing (checking other coders work). I am so excited about this! It’s exciting to me because I’m able to move up in the profession but can still balance everything and everyone else in my life. I was very fortunate to be offered this opportunity and I hope to stay at this job for the long haul. So, wish me luck! I start at the end of the month.

Thanks for reading this and continuing to listen to my songs! I hope to have the new one finished soon, and I promise I will record this one 🙂 If you haven’t heard my other songs yet they are in the music player to the right of the screen.

-Lindsay Della Vella

Pics by Hywards at www.freedigitalphotos.net, Domdeen at www.freedigitalphotos.net, Stuart Miles at www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Music, work, summer and other random things

2 music notesThere’s not much going on so I thought I would just write a little bit about everything. As far as my music goes, I have a song that has been finished for about 2 months now. I have yet to record it, and I don’t know why. It’s not like it’s a bad song or anything.  It’s just that whenever I sit down to play, I always seem to play other things, and never get around to recording that song. It doesn’t even have a name yet. I’m hoping to get motivated and record that song soon!

book wormMy job is still going well. I really like medical coding but you have to put the time in to really learn it. It’s one of those fields that’s ever evolving and changing so you have to take the time to keep up with it. I’m also taking an online class to earn CEU’s (continuing education credits). It’s not that bad–you only have to get 36 credits in 2 years to keep your certification. So, I’ve been spending time on that. Another thing I am looking into is getting a part time remote coding job in addition to my regular job during the day. Those jobs are out there, but they are hard to find. I’m looking though, and hopefully something will turn up.

beach ballThis passed weekend, the pool that we go to opened up for the summer! The kids enjoy it there so much. Sometimes there’s other kids they know from school there, so it’s nice for them. It’s also not that crowded and I can see the kids no matter where I am. I love going to the beach too, but I get very nervous there. I’m always very on edge there with the kids. At the pool it’s actually relaxing for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still watch them like a hawk and I never really sit down, but I’m more comfortable there than the beach. I do miss going to the beach though.

Anyway, that’s about it! Thanks for reading and thanks for listening to my songs! If you haven’t hear them yet, my songs are in the music player to the right of the screen.

-Lindsay Della Vella

 

Photo credit- digitalart at www.freedigitalphotos.net, nirots at www.freedigitalphotos.net, Salvatore Vuono at www.freeditialphotos.net

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Music and work update

I've only written one of my songs on paper. I just don't like to write them down. I just remember how to play them.

I’ve only written one of my songs on paper. I just don’t like to write them down. I just remember how to play them.

There are lots of ways for musicians to get their music out there into the world. Last year, I kind of went through this phase where I posted songs to different websites, just to see what would happen. One of those websites was music supervisor. This is basically a big database where you can list your songs, and music supervisors or other people trying to find music for projects can go to, to find music. Then, they can download and license your music. I just got a report yesterday that one of my songs was downloaded 🙂 It wasn’t licensed yet that I know of, but I think this means that it must be in the running for something, so that is just very exciting to me 🙂

I keep my eyes open for projects that my songs might be able to be a part of, but I don’t do this as much as I used to. It’s not that I’ve given up…but other things just took over.

I’ve been working as a certified medical coder this passed year and I absolutely love it. (If you’re looking for an online program, I took online courses through Career Step and thought it was great).  Other than working and keeping up with the kids, I’ve been taking another online course for certified coders called Risk Adjustment Coding. Its  kind of hard to explain, but this is a type of coding for medicare. Medicare tries to project future costs for patients, so a risk adjustment coder is someone who is more like an auditor. They make sure all the diagnosis are in the medical records so medicare gets a clear picture and can estimate future costs. Anyway, that is all I’ve been up to. Thanks for reading this and thanks to those of you who listen to my songs 🙂

In case you’re wondering what song is in the running for a project, it’s this one.

“New Day” By Lindsay Della Vella

-Lindsay Della Vella

 

Photo credit- Domdeen at freedigitalphotos.net

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New Song, “Fallen” by Lindsay Della Vella

Well, I decided to share this song with all of you. I wrote it about 7 months ago, originally for an independent film. I have not heard back if they’re intending on using it, but I’m assuming they are not. It’s been a long time–but either way, I do not have a contract, never signed anything–so the song is mine.

This song is called “Fallen,” and it is very different from anything I have ever written.  It is supposed to sound very disturbing, sad and kind of unnerving. So, if you feel that way after you listen to it, that’s a good thing 🙂

I remember when my kids heard it for the first time, my youngest nearly cried 🙂 He didn’t like it. But that’s ok 🙂

“Fallen” By Lindsay Della Vella

Any feedback is appreciated.

Thanks for listening to this song 🙂

Lindsay Della Vella

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